


Pleasures Of The Flesh In The Shadows Of One's Heart

by lady_libertine



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Kink Meme, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Praise Kink, solas is depressed but bull can help, solas resents it when people call him cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-29
Updated: 2018-08-29
Packaged: 2019-07-04 04:52:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15834123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lady_libertine/pseuds/lady_libertine
Summary: Some pain runs deep, too deep to ever soothe entirely, but it can be assuaged.Iron Bull helps Solas in just such a manner.





	Pleasures Of The Flesh In The Shadows Of One's Heart

**Author's Note:**

> my gift to you, even more iron bull/solas porn
> 
> fill for this kmeme prompt: https://dragonage-kink.dreamwidth.org/93509.html?thread=366067013
> 
> "Solas/Bull. Solas wants to be punished. Iron Bull decides he needs something else.
> 
> \+ Discovering a praise kink  
> +++ Touch-starved Solas  
> +++++++ Tears"

Solas needed something, and the need built and built until it was impossible to ignore. It was difficult to define this need, and it seemed to have many layers to it. 

He ached for closeness, for someone just to be near to him. Everything in this world felt alien and strange, and all the people he used to depend on were long dead and gone. 

He wanted someone to hurt him. He wanted to feel pain in his body that would match the one in his mind and heart. 

The need was a strange one. It was as if the emptiness in his chest had begun to swell until it needed an outlet, and ignoring it would no longer work. 

So he went to Iron Bull. If anyone could help grant temporary physical release, it was him. He was certainly safer than any other options. 

He didn't want to explain to Bull exactly what it was he felt he needed, so he ended up talking around the entire issue for almost ten minutes. Bull listened patiently—he was used to skittish bed partners. Dorian alone could fill up an entire book. 

“So,” Bull said, once he felt he'd gotten the hang of Solas' reasoning. “You want me to hurt you?”

Solas blinked. Yes, he supposed that was what he wanted.

“ _Want_ and _need_ are different things,” Bull got to his feet and approached Solas, who froze, coldness suddenly sweeping through him. “They're easy to get mixed up.”

Solas peered up at him, uncertain as to where he was going with this.

“I think you think you want something, but you really need something else,” 

Solas clenched his jaw. “And what, precisely, would that be?” he asked. His voice felt ragged and sore, as if talking required an unusual amount of effort. 

Bull reached out, carefully, and stroked Solas' cheek. Solas shuddered when Bull touched him, and Bull nodded, like it confirmed something he was already thinking.

“Come here,” Bull said, putting his other arm around Solas' shoulders and drawing him closer. “I can take care of you.” 

Solas bristled, the idea of letting someone else take any kind of control immediately anathema to him, but the instant Bull took him into his arms, his resistance collapsed. 

He wanted so _badly_ for someone else to tell him what to do, even if it was only for a little while, only like this. 

Bull's hands were warm, and his touch alone was comforting. Loneliness built behind Solas' eyes, almost palpable. 

Bull tilted his chin up, looked into his eyes. 

“You've had kind of a hard time, huh?” 

Solas said nothing, but evidently something in his expression told Bull all he needed to know. 

Bull picked Solas up around the middle, and Solas let out a startled exclamation.

“Bull!” he hissed, putting his hands against Bull's shoulders. 

“What?” Bull carried him over to the bed and gently set him down. “I've been wanting to do that for ages.”

“Why?” Solas demanded, folding his arms. 

“'cos it's cute when you get all pissed-off and indignant,” Bull smiled and pressed a kiss to Solas' temple. Solas flushed. 

“I am no such thing,” he said.

“What?” Bull turned to the bedside table, and began to sort through one of the drawers. “Cute, or pissed off?” 

“Either!” 

“Okay, well that's just wrong in all kinds of ways,” Bull argued. “Because you're pissed off a lot of the time.” 

“Well...that is true,” Solas admitted. He refused to entertain the possibility of being cute, however. 

“And you're cute all the time.”

“I am not.” 

Bull grinned. “Right, sure. Sometimes you're hot.” 

Solas scowled. He didn't want to admit that it was the _sometimes_ part that offended him. 

“Have you ever used a watchword before?” Bull asked.

“Yes.” 

Bull glanced at him in an appraising way. “Right, so you know how they work. You say it, and I stop, no questions ask.”

Solas inclined his head. “Did you have a word in mind?”

“I usually just use katoh. Does that work for you?”

“Yes.” 

“Okay, then.” Bull looked at Solas. “Alright, let's see...I'm gonna guess toys are a yes, but ropes are a no?”

Solas nodded. Binding was alright, sometimes, but not now. Not when the air felt so close, when the whole world seemed like a cage. 

“Thought so.”

“What brought you to your conclusion?”

“Eh, I get a feeling about some people—I can guess what they need. Basically I just look at the way they act, and that tells me a lot. It's not always right, though. That's why I ask.” 

“You are quite observant,” Solas agreed.

“Have to be.” Bull gave him a crooked grin. “Ben-hassrath, remember?”

“Not anymore.”

“No,” Bull agreed. He thought for tonight, they should probably keep things simple. Solas was wound so tight that too much discussion or experimentation might spook him away entirely. He pulled a bottle of lube from the drawer, but nothing else. Bull went back to the bed, and sat down next to Solas.

“Say the watchword for me,” 

“Katoh.”

“Great.” 

Solas made to pull off his shirt, but Bull put a hand on his arm, stopping him. 

“Let me,” Bull said softly. 

He pulled Solas' tunic over his head, easing it off. 

Bull paused, glancing at Solas' bare arms. He'd never actually seen Solas without anything other than long sleeves, and was rather surprised by the scars that he saw on them. A pattern as if from lightning crisscrossed his left arm, and several swipes from a blade his right. 

“You do much fighting before joining the Inquisition?” he asked, beginning to unlace Solas' undershirt.

“More than you might expect.” 

Iron Bull took the undershirt off as well, and as he suspected, the scarring continued across Solas' chest. Most prominent was a large burn scar that splashed over one shoulder, as if it had been caused by a hot liquid. 

Solas tensed, noticing Bull's gaze, but Bull didn't ask. He moved down to Solas' feet, unwrapping the footwraps. 

“Never really got how elves could walk around with no shoes,” he said offhandedly. “Seems kinda dangerous.” 

“Not for us.”

Most elves had uncommonly durable feet, simply needing footwraps to protect the sensitive skin of the arch from the elements. Colder weather necessitated shoes to prevent frostbite, but Solas usually preferred to use warming spells. Personally, he found shoes hateful for reasons that were very difficult to articulate to anyone who wasn't an elf. 

Bull moved on to Solas' leggings, undoing the belt and sliding them off of Solas' bony hips. He had scars on the inside of his thighs, too, and that made Bull's brow furrow. Solas' jaw clenched, and he made to move back, but Bull just put a hand on his hip.

“It's okay,” he said softly, rubbing a soothing circle on his hip with his thumb. “Damn, you're jumpy.”

“I believe that is only to be expected, considering the state of affairs.” When he was certain Bull was not about to ask about his scars, Solas relaxed, and let his legs fall open.

Bull shrugged. “It's not good for you to be so wound up all the time,” he said. 

“That is why I'm here with you, isn't it?”

Bull chuckled. “I guess so.” 

Bull let his own trousers fall to the ground, much more careless with his clothes than with Solas'. 

“So, how long has it been since you were with someone?” Bull asked. “Seems like it was a pretty long time.”

“It _was_ a very long time,” Solas admitted softly. He'd hardly let anyone touch him, even before awakening here. That last, terrible century in Elvhenan he had spent almost entirely trying to stop the Evanuris and the Titans from warring. He had become solely Fen'harel to everyone, even his own people. Mythal's death had left him enstranged from his own friends, and by the time he realized just how isolated he'd become, the Veil was risen, and it was far too late.

The thought made him want to weep, suddenly, and his throat burned. He wanted to be close to someone, anyone, and he so very badly wanted to feel Bull's hands on him again. Everything inside of him felt so terribly close to bubbling over, his mind churning like boiling water. 

“Right, so we'll take it slow,” Bull said. He looked Solas over, his gaze appraising. “Tell me if I do something you don't want, but otherwise just let me take care of you, okay?”

Solas found he couldn't speak. Bull's hand felt fiery and warm, and he so badly wanted Bull to be true to his word, to take care of him. Everything felt so very heavy and he wanted someone else to take the burden, even just for a little while. 

He nodded. 

“Good. Relax a little for me,” Bull said. “You're pretty damn tense.” he smiled. “I guess it's good you're here with me.” 

“I would hope so,” Solas managed to say, his voice a whisper. Fortunately, the request to relax was a bit easier to manage now. His muscles were already beginning to unknot in the warmth of the room. 

Bull took the bottle of lube from the nightstand and opened it. The lube smelled good, something like strawberries. Solas raised his eyebrows, slightly surprised. 

“Nice, huh?” Bull asked. 

“You are not always what I expect, Iron Bull.”

Bull smiled. “I try.” 

Bull coated his fingers in the lube, and hitched one of Solas' legs over his shoulder. Solas hissed when Bull's finger entered him, unused to the sensation. It had certainly been quite a long time.

“You okay?” Bull asked.

Solas nodded. “Yes,” he said softly. The sensation wasn't unwelcome, despite how unfamiliar it was.

“Tell me if you're not,” Bull reminded him.

“I am well,” Solas assured him. “Keep going.” 

Bull smiled. “Good boy,” 

Before he could stop himself, Solas made a noise, low in his throat, one both of surprise and appreciation.

“You like that, do you?” Bull murmured, voice soft and almost surprised. 

Solas shook his head, self-loathing rising like bile in his throat. 

But oh, he wanted Bull to call him good again. It was almost shameful, how badly he wanted someone to call him _good_.

Bull used his free hand to stroke Solas' cheek. “Hey, hey, it's okay,” he assured him. “You're doing great.” 

Well, at least someone thought so. 

Bull pushed deeper inside him, slowly, and Solas' toes curled involuntarily. There was a strange mix of anticipation and pleasure and anxiety that was building up in his chest, and his heart began to pound in his ears. He clenched his jaw so hard it creaked. 

Bull raised his eyebrow. “What did I say about relaxing?” he hummed to himself. “Must not be doing my job right.”

Bull slowly pumped his finger in and out, agonizingly gentle. It made Solas tense, toes curling, the gentleness feeling welcome and invasive at the same time. Fire raced along his nerves, but it still wasn't enough. 

He wanted it to _hurt_. It didn't and it felt good instead, and he clenched his fists, digging his nails into his palms.

“Easy,” Bull murmured. He ran his thumb over Solas' cheekbone, the rough callus of his hand grounding. “Are you still with me?”

Solas nodded. He didn't want Bull to keep asking. He didn't want consideration or kindness or _gentleness_ \--

He wanted something to go right. Someone to do something and have it not go so horribly wrong--

Once Bull worked him open enough, he added a second finger, and Solas made a low moan in the back of his throat. Something in his chest eased.

“That's good, Solas,” Bull said. “That's it. Let me take care of you.” he was very thorough, and Solas relaxed by degrees. 

Sweat pearled on Solas' skin, and he rocked back on Bull's fingers. 

“None of that,” Bull admonished, putting a hand on Solas' chest. “Stay put. Let me.” 

Solas moaned, louder this time, biting his lip and just barely stopping himself from asking Bull to go faster. The stretch of it was significant, and almost painful, and Solas so badly wanted to move his hips, but the instruction to not move was a simple one and he could manage that at least.

A third finger, and Solas sucked in a deep breath. That was almost too much, and it had been quite some time since he'd taken anything that size.

“You still alright?”

“Of course,” Solas murmured, summoning a frown for Bull.

Bull snorted. “Clearly I'm still not doing this well enough,” he teased. “You're still pissed off. Tough crowd.”

He pressed harder with his fingers, hitting against that spot deep inside Solas that made his eyes go wide and his back arch. Solas' mind went blissfully blank for a moment, all forgotten. 

“Better,” Bull rumbled in satisfaction. 

Solas sucked in a breath, sweat trickling down the side of his face. “Do that again,” he gasped.

Bull laughed. “Oh, we'll get there, trust me.”

Finally, he judged Solas to be relaxed enough to take his cock. He pulled his fingers out of Solas, who stifled a noise behind his teeth at the feeling of emptiness.

“How are you doing, Solas?” Bull asked. 

“Fine,” Solas managed. 

“Good.” Bull set Solas' leg down, sat up, and pulled Solas into his lap. Solas let out a very undignified noise at the suddenness of the motion, but didn't protest. His chest pressed against Bull's, and he relished in the sensation of someone's skin on his own. 

Bull's cock pressed against Solas' backside, and Solas sucked in a breath of anticipation. His cock was quite large, impressive even. 

“Think you're ready?”

“Yes,” Solas breathed. 

Bull smirked.

Bull's cock pressed into him, and even with the preparation, the stretch of it was still almost painful.

Solas hissed, not used to the sensation. Bull slowed down, noting Solas' expression.

“You good?” 

Solas nodded, and tried to relax. “Keep going.” 

Bull's hands were so hot on him, points of connection that kept him blissfully grounded to the world. 

Bull thrust in, slowly, gradually, giving Solas time to get used to the sensation. Solas appreciated the effort, but he wasn't likely to get used to this any time soon.

At last, Bull bottomed out, his length fully buried inside Solas. It was indeed uncommonly large, and solas was hard pressed to remember a time he felt so thoroughly full. He shuddered, feeling almost feverish. 

“Easy,” Bull rumbled.

Solas' cock was almost painfully hard at this point, but Bull ignored it. Bull thrust slowly in and out, almost lazily, letting Solas feel absolutely every inch of him. It was so thoroughly _claiming_ , and the sense of being so close to someone made Solas' head spin. 

Bull took his time, and Solas wanted him to speed up, he wanted it to hurt—this felt too good, too gentle, and surely he didn't deserve it--

“You're doing great, Solas,' Bull said. 

Solas couldn't respond, his body burning with heat. Bull's gentleness was painfully welcome and so intrusive at the same time. He tried to form words, but they were trapped behind his teeth and all he could manage were soft whimpers.

“Beautiful,” Bull murmured, and it was suddenly harder for Solas to breathe. “You're beautiful like this,” 

Solas shook his head. He couldn't help but reject praise, though it made him want for more.

“It's true,” Bull continued.

Tears began to gather in the corners of Solas' eyes. He couldn't help it—the feelings and the praise overwhelmed him.

A tear rolled down Solas' cheek. Then another.

Bull slowed down, almost stopped, but didn't pull out. “You okay?” Bull smoothed his hand over Solas' forehead.

Solas nodded, voiceless. 

“You want to stop?”

“Nae,” Solas managed. “No, continue,” he didn't want Bull to stop. It was, perhaps, the thing he least wanted in the world. 

Bull smiled. 

“Good boy.” 

The feeling in Solas' chest was indescribable. 

Solas' breath stuttered, and he felt himself come close. 

“Bull—I'm--”

“What?” 

“Close--”

Come spattered on Solas' chest, and his back arched as fire raced along his veins. He dragged his breath in and out of his lungs.

Bull came as well, and for several moments they lay tangled together. 

Bull pulled out, very slowly, and as he did so Solas couldn't stifle a whimper. His whole body felt like one nerve, everything too sensitive and close. 

Come dripped out of Solas, a sensation that was liberating in its filthiness. The two of them lay together for several moments, exhausted.

Solas felt limp, his muscles finally relaxed for the first time in some time. 

Bull swung his legs over the side of the bed. Solas reached out and touched his arm, without thinking about it.

Bull glanced at him and patted his hand. “I'm just gonna get some stuff to clean up with,” he assured him.

Solas lay back down, closing his eyes. He was still crying, but he made no move to wipe the tears away. He felt the strangest sense of relief in the action. 

Bull returned, the bed dipping with his weight. Solas touched his hand, the warmth of his skin comforting. Bull wiped off Solas' chest with the washcloth, very gently, but Solas still flinched with the touch. 

Bull wiped Solas' face, cradling the back of his head with his other hand. 

“Ir abelas,” Solas murmured, moving to take the cloth from Bull, but Bull stopped him.

“It's okay. You dropped pretty hard,” he explained. “Happens to everyone time to time.”

Solas blinked at him, unfamiliar with the term. 

“Like that thing that happens when you come out of a fight,” Bull clarified. “Your body runs out of everything all at once, I guess.”

“Oh,” Solas nodded. “Yes, I suppose.”

“Come here,” Bull gathered Solas into his arms. Solas, exhausted and boneless, did not resist. 

He pressed his forehead to Bull's shoulder, taking comfort in the presence of Bull's warmth and closeness. 

“Thank you,” Solas murmured. 

“Hey, no problem,” Bull said. “Hope I helped.”

Solas managed a smile.


End file.
